47 Things About Being 50 That I Never Understood Until Now

Holy hell, I’m HOW old?

Now that I’m passed that epic milestone and I’ve had a chance to reflect (while also not managing to publish anything for 9 months because I either was too busy, embroiled in other long form writing projects that are still ongoing or side-swiped by a couple of COVID-19 outbreaks in my family) here are my thoughts on getting here and generally existing in a post-50 universe.

1. It’s the time when FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) has radically reduced.
2. You’re just pleased to be alive every day.
3. It’s a great time to be this age as skincare products have improved in quality and reduced in price. Hyaluronic Acid is the shizz.
4. Learning to balance the days when you feel 30 and the days when you feel 130 is definitely a skill that you’re working on all the time.
5. Quite a lot of your body will inexplicably hurt. And the other bits of you that don’t hurt will hurt because they can.
6. Special events no longer require a couple of hours to get ready for and recover from, as you need the scaffolding of a day on either side — one for preparation and one for recovery. Also, it’s a bloody great excuse to have a day off.
7. You can blame a random aching bit resulting from your…